Well, hello 2013

At this point, 2013 is well on its way…but I still feel like I’m trying to catch my breath after becoming a mom. It’s so good, but somehow I feel like I can’t put words to everything that’s going on inside me.

I’ve been thinking about my word for 2013. Last year, my word was ‘Step Up’ (technically two words, but one intention). It turned out to fit my year really well…in my post about it, what I wrote is that I wanted to be more true to myself even if that meant being different.

When I got pregnant, one thing I knew right away was that I wanted midwives rather than an OB-GYN. But beyond this, I was fuzzy on what I wanted. I sort of thought I might give birth at home, but was not entirely sure. I quickly realized, though, that I wanted, needed, to put thought into how I wanted to do this – not just giving birth but everything surrounding it, including emotionally preparing for having a baby in our lives.

It turned out that the right things for us included a home birth, cloth diapering and co-sleeping. But it was a long journey for me to get to that point. I was constantly researching things and weighing them in my mind and my heart. I prayed like I hadn’t prayed in a long time. I knew this baby was going to come no matter what but I needed to feel right about the choices I was making along the way. This was my way of stepping up.

And now Aiden is here and I feel changed in ways I can’t articulate. I am so glad I took the time to prepare myself even though I missed being creative. Many people manage to be creative while having babies or going through other big changes, but I needed to be quiet and turn inward.

For this year, the word that is calling to me is ‘character’. I’m a few episodes into season 2 of Downton Abbey and I love the character of Anna. If you haven’t watched Downton Abbey (You should! It’s so good!), Anna is one of the servants and I love her because she is patient, calm, humble, steadfast, loyal and kind without being a pushover and she loves with her whole heart. I want to be like her. It’s not that I feel that I don’t have character, but I want it to be my focus for this year. Years back, I decided that I wanted to ‘be a good person to be around’. I want to be someone who can be relied on to be patient, kind, loyal and loving and I hope that’s what I am. I look forward to making this a more central focus in this upcoming year.

One of the most important things to me is love. Not just a lovey feeling, but love as a verb. I love that often quoted verse from the Bible that describes it this way:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (I Cor. 13:4-7)

Did you choose a word or have any goals for 2013?