Good-bye 2010/Hello 2011 Word of the Year
At the beginning of 2010, I was feeling stuck. I was unhappy working at Starbucks and even though I was in University and had found an interesting major, I was still feeling direction-less.
When reflecting on what I wanted for 2010, I got to thinking about my dining room table. I love the central place it has in our house and the light that comes in, so it is where I do pretty much everything. There is usually a variety of things covering the surface: Cook books, my camera, magazines, empty cups, craft supplies, my laptop.
I like having things I’m working on at my fingertips and I don’t like putting things away all the time. I only don’t like it when there are things on the table that have nothing to do with what I am currently doing. So as long as everything is in constant motion from one day to the next, depending on what I am doing that day, I am fine with having clutter on the table.
So, I realized that motion was what I most wanted for 2010. What was the clutter’ in my life that had become redundant and needed to be put away? And what was the ‘good’ clutter, the stuff that I filled my life with that fueled my creativity and that felt fresh and exciting? I let go of the idea that I needed to find the perfect answer for what I wanted to do with my life, I just needed to feel like there was forward movement.
In March, I took Susannah Conway’s Unravelling e-course and I started this blog. I felt such a strong pull to express myself more and bring more creativity into my life. It felt scary, but necessary.
I had dreamed about going to University for a few years before finally taking the leap in 2008. I took a couple of classes in 2008/2009, then three more in 2009/2010. I invested time and energy into it and of course there was a financial investment as well. But I realized that it contributed to me feeling stuck. Rather than feeling like I was working toward something that I really wanted to work toward, I just felt stuck in a life that I didn’t want. Scary realization.
I thought long and hard, prayed a lot, paid attention to what got me really excited and did some personality tests to see what would suit me. I kept saying to people that I was going to take a break from University because I couldn’t stand not having time for other projects I wanted to work on and that I wanted to work on my house. At that time, I wasn’t thinking about Interior Design yet, but once I did, I almost wanted to tell myself: Duh. Of course that is what I wanted to do.
Signing up for a course in Interior Design was a huge leap in rearranging my life in such a way that I felt that there was motion involved on a grander scale. Looking back over 2010, I am so glad for steps I’ve taken and it’s been the things that have felt the most scary that have brought me the most joy in the end.
Action not Reaction ~
Ben’s choice for 2010 was Action not Reaction. He also started feeling a bit of discontentment with the status quo and longing for something that felt more satisfying at the end of the day than putting time in at a job. At the end of this year, he has also come up with a very concrete dream: To open his own video game store.
I know – it may not be the most inspirational word! But for me, it is a way to both stretch myself and be kind to myself. I added a little heart to remind myself to be kind and to do whatever I love with love, not just because ‘I have to’ do it.
Effort is a reminder that I want to put real, hard work into the dreams I have started dreaming in 2010 on a consistent basis in 2011.
Effort is a reminder to myself that for this year, I want to measure what I do mostly by the effort I put into it, not so much the results. It brings my attention back to something that is totally in my court rather than have me worry too much about the end-result (as I am wont to do).
Effort is a reminder that I want to push myself creatively and not settle for what feels ‘safe’ if it’s not being true to myself.
Thank you (yes, you!) so much for reading along. Every single comment has brought a smile to my face and even if you don’t comment, I hope you know that I love it that you (yes, you!) are here and I am grateful.
I am wishing you the best 2011. May it be a full year. May it contain joy, happiness, peace, beauty and creativity.