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Thoughts on Disconnecting

September 19, 2010

This week, I’ve been thinking about disconnecting. While this might seem opposite to my posts on community, I think that one is not possible without the other. Having that said, this is more true for some than others.

As for me, I am an introvert working in an environment that requires me to interact with people ALL DAY LONG. No escape.

First of all, though, let me say that I think sometimes people think introversion means you’re very withdrawn or you don’t really like people. In fact, there have been times where I have told someone I’m an introvert and they’ve said: “You’re not that that much of an introvert.” (Maybe they feel like they need to make me feel better because they regard being an introvert as a bit of a negative thing?) Well, for those who know me well, they know I need quite a lot of to time myself to process and to think. If I don’t, I lose my center fairly quickly and life just doesn’t feel right.

It all comes down to where your energy comes from. For some, it’s mostly through interacting with others and for others it’s time by themselves. Also, it’s good to keep in mind that there’s a continuum and we all fit on there somewhere. Generally, you’re not just one or the other, you’re just one thing more than the other – even the most outgoing extroverts I know need time by themselves sometimes and find themselves feeling frazzled if they don’t get it.

Spending time by myself is a general part of my life because I’ve found a certain rhythm in which life works for me and I’m happy this way. For example, one of great things of having a dog is that it forces me to walk him (we don’t have a fenced-in backyard) and this is for me one of the easiest ways to get some downtime away from any form of connecting, be it other people or my own propensity to spend time on-line.

Especially in this day and age, where so much information comes at us all the time in so many different ways, it’s not a bad idea to deliberately take time to unplug for a bit sometimes. I know that I feel more giving and generous when I take the time to consciously do this and that is where it connects to living in community as well – when I take care of myself I am generally a better person to be around and that can only be a good thing.

What is your favorite way of disconnecting?

XO Jadyn

4 Comments leave one →
  1. September 19, 2010 3:19 pm

    I can really relate to this! It’s an extroverts world out there. So much so, that I only figured out a year or so ago that I had introvert inclinations and that I was neglecting myself.

    Sometimes on weekend mornings while the rest of the world is sleeping and the house is quiet I will doodle in a sketchbook with no intentions, just letting my thoughts wander. After work, I like to cook solo in the kitchen with soothing music. Take a walk in the woods. Garden for sure. Still, my favorite which I need to do more often… taking 5 minutes outdoors to stare at the stars before going to bed.

  2. September 19, 2010 4:13 pm

    Yes, so many people think that being an “introvert” is something that can (and should) be cured! I got a similar reaction from Justin recently, when talking about a relationship often needing an introvert and an extrovert, and he said, “Yes, but you’re getting better…” Hahaha! He also asked if I thought being an introvert was caused by me “not doing enough after-school activities as a child”! Oh dear…

    I always have breakfast by myself, and though sometimes that means I rush it to get on with other thing, if I make time to have something nice and enjoy it, that can be a wonderful bit of recharging time.

  3. September 20, 2010 3:03 am

    Oh Jadyn
    this truly rings a bell with me too! Sometimes I think I’m taking the word “introvert” to the limit cause there are days where I don’t even feel like speaking to anyone .. does this mean I’m a loner or a “strange”? Maybe. Does this make me feel bad about myself.. mmm.. no! Disconneting is vital to me and I try to do it most week nights, my dog and a french movie are essential !!
    Wishing you a lovely new week xxxx

  4. September 22, 2010 12:06 am

    i love this blog topic-
    i’m NOT a shy person, am actually pretty outgoing- but i am an introvert. and like you, people say, “oh, no!! you’re not an introvert!” but yes, you’re right- it’s all about how you get your energy. for me, i am exhausted after being around people and almost feel i need to detox after a lot of socializing. and big groups are not my thing. i love people. but in small, intimate gatherings AND i really, really love my time alone!!

    i love spending time alone- reading, running, watching movies, and writing-

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